The news has been flooded with stories of politicians and their mistresses. I love this little family story. My great Aunt Agatha prided herself on being married for 75 years and she had a diamond ring on each finger – gifts to her for allowing Guiseppe, her husband, his afternoon “exercise.”
We often asked her why she had so many diamonds and she would say, “Some day, you will understand.” And what we came to understand is that her husband had mistresses, or as we came to hear her whisper, “comare.”
What is a mistress? Quite simply, it defines a woman who is involved in a sexual relationship with a married man. Oftentimes a mistress was the recipient of gifts that included money or a place to live, often quite elegant.
As for Aunt Agatha — She had a diamond for each comare through the years and 10 children who will fiercely defend their father. If you asked her why she never left the philanderer , her eyes would fill with tears and she would say, “because he was the one, my one and only.”
Husband snatchers: These days women who are involved in an adulterous relationship are also called “husband snatchers.” I would like to sound less judgemental. I would like to believe that in the world of love and marriage cheating does not go on deliberately.
And you? We all know someone who nearly had a relationship with a married man. Or who, in fact, was the mistress to a married men. So many woman who get hurt in the end, really believed:
- His wife didn’t understand him and you did.
- You were able to listen to his fears about losing his job.
- He had been unhappily married for years and was about to leave her anyway.
- You were not the reason his marriage was failing, but you figured, “I will be here when the divorce is finalized.”
If given a choice between the spurned wife and the mistress, what would you choose? In a piece by Jessie Knadler for Women’s Health in the November issue, we learn that 62 percent of women interviewed say they would rather be the mistress than the spurned wife. Women’s Health
Famous women who have been called everything from husband snatchers to saints? Angelina Jolie — now married to Brad Pitt. Carla Bruni — now married to the French President. Oksana Grigorieva — Mel Gibson’s pregnant girlfriend.
Why do it? For safety and security: Several years ago, Dr. Gail Saltz, Today Show.com contributor, wrote a piece posted on MSNBC called “More reasons that women feel safe with married men.” She said, “This week, I heard from many male readers who agreed that their wedding rings function as Chick magnets. Her website is www.drgailsaltz.com.
Because of extreme lonliness: According to the New York Post report, “Jackie Kennedy had a four-year love affair with Bobby Kennedy that began not long after JFK’s assassination and grew so intense that when RFK was gunned down, it was she — not his wife — who instructed doctors to pull the plug, an explosive new book claims.” Bobby and Jackie: A Love Story.” New York Post
Stories of mistresses in politics: It has been a year full of these stories and sadly so:
- Elizabeth and John Edwards: If she pants, “You are so hot!” will our men tumble as did John Edwards?
- Jenny and John Sanford: Jenny Sanford caught in the tangled web of sex and politics
- John Ensign and his mistress Questions swirl regarding money and his mistress
To read more about cheating in general and the struggles of those who admittingly felt compromised:
- Infidelity: wives having it their way
- Cheating: whether lovers or friends, a betrayal of trust
- Too much cheating, we need happily ever after
The real bond of love: In one’s heart of hearts we know that in love and marriage, there is a bond. And if you believe in the great law of karma, what you do to another, will be done unto you. We owe it to ourselves to be kind to our sisters and help them preserve the bond of marriage within their lives.