If you have not as yet come up with a Halloween costume, try becoming a giant smiley face.
In looking at the research on smiles recently, it seems that a particular type of smile, one that lights up the whole face, comes about through a set of facial muscles that may control our joy and destiny. Named for a French researcher, the “Duchenne smile” reveals relationship secrets. Researchers have determined that a smile can predict happiness and divorce, convey love and compatibility between couples, and is happily contagious.
Those of us who grew up with older relatives always reminding us to stand up straight and smile might have inadvertently learned the secret to happiness, good relationships, and less stress. To visualize an image of the Duchenne smile, think of Julia Roberts and Mario Lopez, or the smiley face emoticon. The Duchenne smile uses facial and eye muscles to create that “you light up my life” look.
Looking through yearbook photos, a recent photo-prediction experiment at DePauw University accurately predicted marriage and divorce just based on the smiles. “The Science of Intimate Relationships” reported on couples who were happiest by two simple actions observed on videotapes — those who nodded in agreement as the other spoke and those with Duchenne smiles. It seems that in the act of smiling, you feel better and this sends a signal to the brain called “happiness.”
Consider this: In a study on toothpaste sales, it was found that people were willing to pay more for toothpaste promoted by actors with Duchenne smiles. If such a smile can sell toothpaste, imagine what it might do for your relationship? If your relationship is rocky for the moment, just smiling as you think about the joy you derived in the past will trigger production of the love hormone oxytocin.
Smiles and laughter are contagious, as we learned from studies at the University of Maryland. Try laughing alone in a crowd and within minutes the laughter will spread gleefully and the love will just bubble up and over! If you missed World Smile Day earlier this month, there is still time to promote its slogan: “Do an act of kindness. Help one person smile.”
You can practice the Duchenne smile until it becomes a reality for you. Much like gratitude, if you practice the gratitude you do not necessarily feel — through kind acts — eventually you will find yourself becoming a more grateful person. Try smiling more often at the person you love, watch movies together that make you laugh, and your love life and sex life are sure to reach new levels of compatibility and joy.
Rita Watson: Wear a smile, light up your love life October 19, 2014
Rita Watson is a relationship columnist for The Providence Journal and PsychologyToday.com.