In my columns, With Love and Gratitude/Psychology Today I highlight success secrets to strengthen relationships and ward off infidelity. As an incurable romantic, I love Valentine’s Day and consider myself to be a Valentine maven.
To keep Valentine’s Day from becoming a disappointment, here is my Second Annual Valentine’s Day Countdown. While I plan to share tips on how to spice up life between you and your guy, as LoveColumnist on Twitter, I thought you should also know the man’s perspective.
While the Beltway Bachelor, a writing colleague doesn’t speak for all men, he does have the courage (AKA chutzpah) to say what other men are thinking.
First for the positive side of Valentine’s Day, let’s put it in perspective. The tradition itself of sending Valentines dates back to the 1500’s when young people in France and England gathered around a box in the village square to draw the name of their sweethearts for the year. At some point it became a Hallmark holiday.
Valentine’s Day Countdown, Tip 1: Focus on the person with whom you fell in love
- Start today to fall in love again.
- Paste a picture of you and your love on the refrigerator in which you both are smiling happily.
- Focus on that picture for 10 minutes.
- Write out what you love best about him.
- Write out three reasons why you fell in love.
Then what? For an entire day, walk, talk, think, and act as if you are in love with the most wonderful man in the world. Think positively. And think of something special to do for Valentine’s Day.
From the Beltway Bachelor
Here is where the Beltway Bachelor weighs in. Should his words discourage us? No, we should not let the Valentine curmudgeon change us anymore than we should try to change him.
If he is happy warding off love, so be it. He has left a trail of broken hearts in Washington, DC who might now be banding together to deliver him to a coven of witches and there will be no lawyer at his trial to say, “If it please the court, may I address his warmer side?”
In his own words:
“There isn’t a straight guy out there who looks forward to Valentine’s Day. It is but one of an endless number of occasions incumbent upon guys to commemorate: Christmas; birthdays; sundry anniversaries (when first we met; our first argument; the day the condom broke) all detailed in the mental ledgers of debits and credits maintained by all too many women.
“Palpable evidence of devotion comes to us courtesy of Hallmark, Godiva Chocolates, the lacy unmentionables department at Macy’s, and let’s not forget the florist cabal. Otherwise , feelings get hurt. Far easier to show up with an ‘I heart u bear’ from the CVS than deal with the consequences. Too bad they go on sale the day after Valentine’s.”
Choose love
My thought is this. Revel in love. Plan to turn the head and heart of your man. If he doesn’t acknowledge you in some way, it is his loss and not yours.
And as for the Beltway Bachelor — despite what sometimes appears to be his misogynist ways, truth to tell, I overheard him tell a woman at Christmas that she is a pretty girl – and with that her eyes sparkled.
Then I’m sure I overheard him say the same thing to a different woman on New Year’s Eve.
I can’t wait to see what he has to say on Valentine’s Day. Is it a line? I don’t think so for a minute. In his heart of hearts, I really believe he really enjoys woman – so long as they don’t get too close to him.
Copyright 2012 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2012 Beltway Bachelor / All Rights Reserved