Heard from a reader who wants to get out of a relationship, but feels stuck. “When is giving us too much information (TMI) a way of making it look like they are telling everything, but they aren’t?” And Read the Professor’s comment!
A bit of a departure from The Dictionary of Love and Danger yet this relates a question in which the young man seems to know the answer.
The after-sex story of her life: “She told me the story of her life in about 10 minutes. It was right after we had sex. Really good sex. I really liked her. But I didn’t know if I wanted to be in a relationship. It was rough. I really felt for her.”
In repeating this story to a few other guys, the responses fell into two categories:
- “Wow, she really bared her soul. She must really like you.”
- “I’d be running fast.”
What did the women say? Pretty much same as the men.
- “She really trusts you. I hope she knows what she’s got in you.”
- “TMI is a danger zone. I saw this on 90210 once and Grey’s Anatomy. She wants a nice guy to make up for all she went through. Then suddenly, she’ll turn on you, not in a good way. Tell me the story, I’ll tell you the TV show.
TMI as half-truth: What did his gut tell him? This would not be the “getting to know you” relationship he had hoped for, yet she convinced him that in sharing secrets — they shared a bond. He felt he could be good for her.
Balancing out: A year into the relationship, every time he thinks he can get out, there is another crises between her debt and her roller coaster emotions. Each day that he stays, it is harder for him to break free. (And women have the same problem.)
And yet, I recall an older friend who married the woman who withheld as much as she told. They are still sharing stories.
Copyright 2008 ritawatson