When a relationship is in trouble, people need help. Either through counseling, or friendships.
Sometimes in order to keep a marriage together for the sake of children, one spouse finds solace with another partner. Very often a wife or husband suspects, but ignores the situation. It takes a toll.
Refusing to face a problem and fix it very often mean that you will keep meeting the problem over and over again.
This is where friends can help. Friends who are positive thinkers and who appreciate your family situation may actually help you survive infidelity, or help you realize that if you don’t change your ways, you will face a spouse who will be unfaithful.
But let’s not kid ourselves — when a woman withholds sex, and decides to leave a separate life apart from her husband, he will be unfaithful. When a woman puts career first, her husband will very likely stray.
If you have friends and you value them, they may tell you a truth you would rather not hear. But if they are friends who believe in you, they won’t play games. I am not talking about friends who will say, “Take him for all you can get.” Or “Screw her, she deserves it.”
I am talking about friends who realize that anger is very damaging. Friends who play Devil’s Advocate may help you evaluate your situation and give you supportive advice. Or they be blatantly frank and point out things you would rather not hear.
While most of society feels there is something morally wrong about infidelity, it goes on and on and women are becoming as active in this role as are men. Here is a link to When Good People Have Affairs by Mira Kirshenbaum. Some of her thoughts may surprise you. Good People Who Have Affairs
To repair a relationship after infidelity or know when to call it quits, here is a WebMD link: Overcoming Infidelity
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson