Tips for kindling spring fever with your loved one on Page H5 of Sunday, April 07, 2013 issue of Providence Journal
Rita Watson
With the first warm breeze to signal winter’s end, those who are single often wish for a healthy dose of spring fever. Those who are married or with a partner may suddenly wish that their relationship was more romantic. It we all had the raging hormones of youth and lived lives free of stress, we might be a society filled with romance.
But with today’s hectic pace of life, too many relationships are losing their luster.
For those who are hoping for spring fever to revitalize life in the bedroom, scientists have disappointing news. Diaries indicate that sexual activity decreases during the spring and does not pick up again until autumn. To stimulate emotional and sexual intimacy, try reliving your love story, cuddling, aphrodisiacs, or music.
Relive your love story: Barbara Markway, Ph.D., says that every couple’s unique story tells about “the foundations of a relationship and depicts the miracle of intimacy.” In relationships that have lost the spark, she says that remembering can:
“Take a brick out of the wall that may be separating you and your partner. Even one brick removed weakens the wall, allowing room for love to return.
“Give you clues about potential strengths in your relationship, strengths you can build on.
“Provide you with hope and motivation because reminding yourselves that your relationship was previously fulfilling helps point you in the right direction.”
Markway is the author of Living the Questions on psychologytoday.com .
Cuddle: Findings from University of Michigan reported in the Archives of Sexual Behavior last year showed that cuddling is largely perceived as nurturing. However, it is also seen to be somewhat sexual, which may account for past studies that said increased cuddling can lead to increased frequency and enjoyment of sexual activities with one’s partner.
Try an aphrodisiac: Will it be oysters, chocolate, or strawberries and champagne? While there is no scientific evidence that supports the aphrodisiac theory, simply making the effort to try them in a candle lit room with pillows on the floor will help you move into a more sensual world.
Listen to romantic music: A Swedish study found that these are the top three songs for lovemaking: “Time of My Life” from “Dirty Dancing,” “Sexual Healing,” and “Bolero.” While the musical classics for romance still go to composers Chopin, Debussy, Puccini and Tchaikovsky, the study found that men will adjust their musical tastes if it means more loving.
For those who really want to bring back emotional and sexual intimacy, try all the suggestions at once — the love story, the cuddling, champagne, and mood music. Then be certain to remind each other just how lucky you are to have been touched by the same star.
Rita Watson, an incurable romantic, is one of our relationship columnists and a regular Journal contributor. Her web address is ritawatson.com.