Three day plan might keep your love alive

In my never-ending quest to keep gratitude in the news, I found a way to talk about the “gratitude as attitude” work of Dr. Robert Emmons as guest on London talk radio, LBC 97.3 FM, just recently. It was a challenge because Britney Spears was the topic. They wanted my thoughts about reports of a possible third marriage for Spears and did I think it was a good idea.
In the world of love and marriage, three is considered the charm for those who believe in charms. But for Spears, in reality, her first marriage ended in a matter of days. Her second marriage was tumultuous and tragic. But she has been dating Jason Trawick, her agent, for about two years now and it appears that he has helped stabilize her.
So after giving the host, Richard Arnold, the short answers, I talked a bit about the marriages that do work in Tinseltown: Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Rene Angelil and Celine Dion, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith — and the list goes on.
Keeping a relationship together is about choices. So I explained the gratitude as attitude concept from Dr. Emmons, a professor of psychology at University of California at Davis.
He believes that “Attitude change often follows behavior change. By living the gratitude that we do not necessarily feel, we can begin to feel the gratitude that we live.”
Here are three happiness hints, a three-day experiment, that I suggested for Britney Spears and for all of us who wish to keep love alive and relationships thriving. (This works for children, family and friends)
Gratitude on Day 1: Express gratitude by finding five qualities that you love about your partner. All day long focus on those positive qualities. For the entire day no matter what happens, try to focus on positive qualities and gratitude instead of the wet towels he leaves all over the bathroom floor.
Forgiveness on Day 2: Identify three things about yourself that make you angry and three things about your guy that drive you mad. Now forgive yourself and forgive him.
Appreciation on Day 3: For an entire day, speak only kind words. Tell your husband or lover how much you appreciate him and that he is the most perfect, wonderful, loving man in the world. And yes, it will feed his ego.
It was at this Day 3 that the host gasped “An entire day!”
And yours truly was forced to reveal, and I hope this is where all of the listeners were suddenly distracted from my answer, “Sometimes even I find it difficult to practice what I preach.”
Rita Watson, one of our Relationship columnists and a regular op-ed page contributor, is an author, mother and incurable romantic. You can reach her at www.ritawatson.com.