The blogs are abuzz with the question: How long should you wait before becoming intimate with someone?
The readers who comment on this question in Yahoo’s “Shine” have a variety of answers. But they essentially fall into three categories: do what feels best; follow the three date rule; or get to know someone before you bed down with them.
- Doing what feels best — basically trust your gut. If deep inside you feel you should get to know someone better, than do it. You heart always gives you the right answer. And if you feel the need to question either yourself or a friend, the anwer is probably “no.”
- Follow the three date rule — that’s pretty silly, what can you learn by the third date that you don’t already know on the first? It is basically superficial and artificial. Rule out the rule, I’d say.
- Wait until you get to know someone better. This probably makes the most sense. By waiting until the “Bloom wears off the rose,” you might have had that infatuation period cool down just enough :
–>> to begin appreciate and to believe in the qualities of your new love,
–>> to question some of his or her motives, or
–>> to face what you would rather not face — that you have been sucked in by someone who has said all the right things, but who basically lured you into a game for their own gain. (Not your sweetheart? Watch more TV re-runs!)
The love business can be tricky. While some people are totally honest, and who truly wish for lifelong love, there are just as many who have had the opportunity to read you like a simple graph. For the clueless, the oblivious, the too trusting — you may have a none too pleasant surprise. In the words of Denny Crane, “Love is an ugly business, my friend. An ugly, ugly business.”
My best aswer — is WAIT — if the person you think you love today is really right for you, then you will be in love tomorrow and the next day and the day after with no tension, regrets, or surprises. The relationship may not always be smooth. But you will stick with it because you will believe in a companion who will share with you the good times and the sad ones. However, each morning you will wake up knowing that you are loved!
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson