Forget the fact that both women may be in love with the same man. Jenny Sanford and Maria Belen Chapur have something far more lasting in common — their children. In today’s society, husbands come and go, but our children are our children forever.
Reports say that Jenny Sanford is willing to forgive her husband. For the family that is good news. Her husband appears to be going through a mid-life crisis, or the state of temporary insanity that those who are infatuated and having affairs sometimes experience.
The Governor says he has found his “soul-mate” in Argentina. The two had a connection. Even if the connection between Mark and Maria went on every single day for a full six months it amounts to about 162 days for Maria stacked up against about 7,300 days spent with Jenny over 20 years. True, it is not about the numbers, it is about a betrayal of trust that Mark Sanford must rebuild with his family.
And here is the real tragedy of scandal’s snare — Jenny and Mark’s sons, reported to be school age, and Maria’s sons, reported to be 15 and 19.
What must the children be thinking? Younger children during times of separation and divorce often ask the heartbreaking question, “Mommy, do you still love daddy?” And how do mothers generally respond? “Of course I love him, because without him, I would not have you. But I do not love his behavior.”
For Maria, whose sons are older, I cannot imagine what they are feeling. I think of my own sons. They are all right with me writing about love and marriage, but appalled about “those sex” articles. If my name happened to be splashed across the world linking me to another woman’s husband, I think they would take me to a cloistered convent to spend the rest of my days on my knees.
It may seem bleak right now for all of the young sons trapped in scandal. Maria and Jenny have each voiced concern about their children. However, despite personal heartache, mothers go on giving their children a special kind of love. I like the words from TinaMarie Bernard today: “When the parents stumble, the children still need to be raised.”
from our Modern Love Examiner: Governor Sanford and family values: children still need to be raised when the parents stumble
Links to some of my other stories about the Sanford scandal include:
- Mark Sanford: the lure of long-distance love
- Lies in love, marriage, and the Sanford scandal
- Love triangle: as Gov. and Jenny Sanford talk of reconcilliation, Maria Belen Chapur talks of pain
- Jenny Sanford caught in the web of sex and politics
Copyright 2009 Rita Watson (Published earlier today in The Examiner)