In the same week as we learned of Bruce Springsteen being named in a divorce case, and a Saudi divorcing his wife by text message, you must wonder — how relationships “devolve” and “dissolve.”
In the case of the Saudi couple, the wife seemed to have little recourse. In the Bruce Springsteen case, he is being accused of infidelity in a divorce case. Are you feeling that your marriage is about to crash? Are you really still in love but feeling depressed about your relationship? How about asking yourself a few questions?
How well do you listen? And what is your tone of voice? Listening and the tone of one’s voice are good measures as to the direction of your relationship.
Look inside yourself: It may sound simplistic but no matter where you are in your marriage or relationship, if you love the guy you are with but wish he was the way he was when you married him — then it is time for a little look inside yourself.
- Are you the person he married?
- Are you the one who often sent love notes?
- When he wanted fun and spontaneous sex, were you right there and ready to go?
What has happened? And now don’t blame him! This is not about blame, this is about finding a way to fix a problem and you might just have the solution right in the palm of your hand. Listen to your words and the tone of your voice.
Men have fragile egos and just one or two words of criticism can set them back years — honest! There is a way of talking to him and never, repeat NEVER , should it involve saying, “How many times have I told you?”
This is your visualization challenge. Think about the man you married and what you loved most about him. Think about the way you treated him when he was that person. Now see him as you wish him to be. Choose the man you wish to share a bed with each night — the qualities of the person with whom you first fell in love. Make a decision to put some time and effort into changing the relationship to one of love and harmony.
Take a look at this site — Divorce Busting and give some thought to Michelle Weiner-Davis’s book about sex starved wives. You may find that you can revive the fire, fan the flames, and enjoy some sizzling sex and loving companionship.
Copyright 2009 Rita Watson – Visit me on the Examiner by clicking the link to the right.