On Valentine’s Day, it is estimated that more than 170 million long stem roses will find their way into homes and hearts.
Sitting in a diner recently, I noticed that the counter was abloom with an exquisite bouquet of 18 deep-red roses. I asked if there was a special occasion. “From a secret admirer,” said the waitress. As an incurable romantic, I wanted to write on the vase: “Dear Giver — You are a keeper.”
Women love receiving flowers. Some men like giving flowers. Others have learned from men’s magazines that flowers are a romantic joy. On Valentine’s Day, just a few weeks away, it is estimated that more than 170 million long-stem roses will find their way into homes and hearts.
John DeVore, in writing “Why real men DO buy flowers” for CNN.com , talked of the flowers and little gifts his father gave to his mother. “They never seemed to tire of each others’ gentle words. And 45 minutes after he died, on my mother’s birthday, FedEx walked into the ICU with her present…. While my mother was in a street fight with doctors (and a dependably cruel universe) for every dwindling minute of my dad’s life, he had been sitting up in his hospital bed, buying her something he knew she’d love.”
Men who boast that they never send flowers or buy gifts on prescribed holidays are often divorced. The late sexologist Carol Botwin relays how such a withholding trait carries over into sex and dooms relationships. Her book, “Love Crisis: Hit-and-run Lovers, Jugglers, Sexual Stingies, Unreliables, Kinkies and Other Typical Men,” dating to 1981, is said to be the inspiration for “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” However, she waves red flags for women.
If you are hoping for Valentine’s Day flowers, first ask yourself: Is he The One? Or is he just the one for now? If he is just filling time and space, forget the flowers. Look for a new man. And spend Valentine’s Day with your girlfriends.
But if you do care about the man in your life and are hoping for a Valentine’s Day bouquet — yet fear he is clueless — take some tactful initiatives. Or tell him this following story and see how he reacts.
One colleague started a tradition. After they were married, just before their first Valentine’s Day, she sent a note to him reminding him to send flowers to her office — several days before the price for roses skyrocketed. He did just as she suggested with an added surprise that still continues. He assumes the personality of different movie characters and writes a note that might be naughty or nice. It sets the tone for their night.
Yes, real men send flowers. Their gifts are meaningful. Their love is tender. And they are keepers.
Copyright 2013 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved
Rita Watson, an incurable romantic, is one of our relationship columnists and a regular Journal contributor. Her Web address is ritawatson.com .