Sex sells. Whether we wrap in an abstinence package or talk about it through Planned Parenthood – we are talking about sex. In the abstinence world, the talk of sex translates into “no sex before marriage,”
and it comes without the sound advice of safe sex based on good science.
Escaping the message of sex is difficult to do. We live in a society in which magazines, movies, and television have blurred the boundaries of propriety. Sex is so much a part of our culture that even advertising for cars comes with seductive overtones. While we seem to be a society that likes sex, according to the recent Durex Survey the US ranks 23 out of 26 nations in terms of sexual satisfaction.
Nonetheless sex is still on the minds of the “Virginity Rules” movement. And the more money we pour into abstinence legislation the more we hear about its failures. A study by Mathematica Policy Research Inc. shows that abstinence education makes no difference with regard to the age of a teenager’s first sexual experience. Recent hearings in Washington seem to imply that reluctantly some members of Congress may be coming to the same conclusion. Washington times
What is the real message of abstinence education? Proponents would like to see children place more value on marriage and family than on sex. That’s a good message. But tax dollars should not be funding it. However, I would be pleased to see money spent on programs that instill passion and intimacy – not through sex, but through art, dance, and music. And I would favor funding for model family programs where children might learn to talk about ethics, feelings, relationships, and the value of intimacy and friendship.
My grandmother taught us about family at the dining room table. There we shared thoughts, celebrated joys, and learned to decipher the meaning of a sigh, a half smile, an unspoken sadness. Today we live in a world of fragmented families often on treadmills racing against activities and time. There are few role models. But that doesn’t absolve us from our responsibilities as parents.
Sex is a part of growing up. And it is up to us, not the Congress, to teach our children to grow up responsibly and respectfully of others as well themselves. And it doesn’t hurt if we can do so with a sense of humor. Here is a Jon Stewart abstinence laugh. When abstinence doesn’t work
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson