If you have stuck with me, you know that this thing called engagement is really a big deal. If feels almost like forever before you get to pop the question. Well here we are, almost.
Step Five, Parents. This is a dying tradition, but here at decisionmaking tips we really believe in it. Ask her parents for permission, or even if you don’t ask them for permission — talk to them about it first. We can guarantee it will win you major points with your future in-laws, and with her.
It’s a delicate matter, and we suggest nothing but the most detailed planning to get it right. This should be a conversation just between you and the parent or parents. No interruptions by siblings, relatives, waiters, or any other outside sources.
The proposal ally is a big help here too, you need someone who can talk you through this. Have a script… YES a script. Write down some of the things you are going to say and memorize them. Don’t bring notes to the conversation, but make sure you are comfortable with the words you are saying. In fact say them out loud. You’d be surprised how hard they are to get out.
Also, make sure that you set a time and proposal date soon after your parental sit down – nothing adds pressure like awaiting in-laws!
Step Six:
Plan the day. Okay so you have a ring, a date, her parents permission, Now is the time. Plan the date around what you think would be appropriate and not what you have heard works. In other words, if she’s a quiet type don’t do this in public. It’s a very private event, and you are going to want to have time together afterwards.
Only if your potential fiancée is a very extroverted person should you consider proposing in public. There is no need to be jumping out of an airplane, in a shark tank, or to have your proposal in a scrolling marquee at the ball game for it to be meaningful.
BUT you should plan something. At your place, her place, or your cohabitation place. Again here is the importance of your proposal ally. She will keep your soon to be finance busy so that she arrives at your proposal destination at the expected time. Set the scene, flowers, candles are a safe bet.
Do something that is meaningful for your relationship, pick something and go with it. No real need to stress over this, she will love it no matter what, and as long as there is some theme to it all you will be fine.
One helpful thing to keep in mind about the proposal setting is that this story will be told later, as long as there is some kind of story to tell — the details will get smoothed over. Don’t worry about pink vs. red roses – the story will read “there were flowers everywhere”.
And this is precisely what you would like her to remember, a ring, a mood, flowers… what you have done is to create a memory!
Copyright 2008 Ferol Vernon