In the world of love and danger, men do not fare as well as women. We have looked at a few of the A’s — adoration, attraction, adultery, and alone from our Dictionary of Love and Danger: for Men Only. The A’s are all entwined, interwoven into truths and love lies in search of “amour.”
Romance was brought to us by the 12th century troubadors who serenaded townsfolk with their songs of love. Courtly love flourished as stories swirled of knights and ladies obsessed with their lovers. Today’s soap operas seem to capture the themes of love, desire, passion, betrayal, deception, lust and infidelity that we often read of in the Greek myths. However, it was the fierly punishments and ultimate rewards that transcended the lust and lies that made the gods and goddesses of mythology memorable and monumental.
Men ask us for scenarious –in fact any soap opera carries the themes of adoration, attraction, adultery, and alone. It seems that deception plays a major role in soap operas and women are more often than not portrayed as deceptive manipulators.
Deceptive scene: Just picture this. You meet a woman and you are so attracted to her that you adore everything about her. It’s chemistry. You chat on the phone. You text message. You long for her. You get her. You bring her to your home. And then what happens? You discover a secret that she is keeping from you.
Reality intruded: For Henry reality intruded after he had driven half way to work and realized he took the wrong briefcase. While on the phone with his law partner, he contined home. He arrived at his home and his girlfriend’s car was still in the driveway. Still on his cell phone, he dashed upstairs to get his briefcase. What did he discover?
She was going through his drawers. She was so intent upon searching, that she never heard him come into the room.
“Katrina, what are you doing?” he asked.
And from the book of “answers” she replied — pouting and sad — “Oh darling, I wanted to surprise you. I was going through your drawers to see how I could organize them for you. Remember you always tell me that you never can find a sock?”
Good save.
He thinks — she loves me. BUT he is also uneasy about the intrusion. Nonetheless, he forgives and hurries off to work. Each day, Katrina stays a little bit longer than the previous day. She actually convinces him that she is taking time off from work because she needs the rest and wants to help him get his house in order.
Henry likes getting home to a really clean house and a beautiful woman to greet him with his scotch on the rocks. Later that week he asks when she is returning to work. With a sad kiss she says, “Tomorrow.”
The next morning, they kiss each other good-by, and both leave for work.
The surprise: Henry circles back and there are two cars in his driveway. He parks the car down the road, and quietly enters his own home. There he finds Katrina in bed — HIS bed — with another woman. He goes into a rage, and throws them out. They leave and with them goes the money he had stashed in his sock drawer.
He still wonders how he could have been so blinded and unable to see the real person behind the sweet talking smile.
Rules of the road:
- Get to know someone before you hand them the keys to your kingdom.
- Spend some time with their friends so that you can understand how they interact with others.
- Listen carefully for slip-ups in what you were told and how they contradict themselves.
- If you have a doubt, trust your instinct!
copyright 2008 Dictionary of Love and Danger: for Men Only by Rita Watson, an FEV publication