Sad but true, in too many relationships today both men and women tell lies.
While both men and women tell lies, they seem to have different reasons for doing so. It is more difficult to determine the truth if you are dating someone who lives more than an hour away from you because you miss daily cues and clues as to how the relationship is moving along. It is even more daunting if you do not share the same circle of friends.
In the world of “liar, liar, pants on fire” if you read enough of these Internet stories, you will see that men tell lies more often than women. Sometimes they just lie to lie because they are conditioned to do so by their profession. At other times they are cheating and lie to hide this fact from their wives or girlfriends: Lies Men Tell
Who tells the bigger lies? Web writers from multiple sites say that men lie more often, but the women’s alibis and stories are told in such a complicated way that a man gets confused and gives up trying to get at the truth.
What is it that women are trying to hide and if caught their excuse for hiding it? According to most websites the top three include:
- Number of past lovers — (It slips her mind because some were just casual affairs not serious relationships.)
- Being pregnant — (Says she didn’t realize it because she didn’t have any of the usual symptoms.)
- Having a sexually transmitted disease — (Claims she didn’t think that her STD was contagious because she hasn’t had an outbreak in years, or it happened so long ago that she just forgot about it.
How can you tell when a man is lying? He isn’t very good at it.
How can you you when tell a woman is lying? She gets mad at you for accusing her — pouts, throws a tantrum, witholds sex, or refuses to speak with you — even though you are right and she is guilty.
Or she becomes overly affectionate. In either case, men are caught between a rock and a hard place unless they have the courage to confront without being confrontational. Eight Lies Women Tell
(A gay couple told me recently that each had a previous partner who was unfaithful. One said his partner of many years always pointed a finger at him, was terribly jealous of his travels, and accused him of cheating when he traveled. “Finally I realized that HE was the one doing the cheating. One day a neighbor told me the truth.” The new couple said that they are committed to monogamy.)
In defense of couples: So often what we see in terms of lying occurs with people in relationships that are not based on love or values, but infatuation and need. You might also see destructive lying with couples who have had multiple partners and are trying to make a fresh start but do not have experience with successful partnerships.
To couples wanting a fresh start, good for you. But a fresh start only works when it is based on truth and respect for each other’s emotions, health, and integrity.
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson