Kind and caring words should be on your love list

Posted on by Rita Watson

Kind and caring words should be on your love list/ Rita Watson
We seem to live by lists these days. And yet, despite our planning, we are often overwhelmed at the end of the day when our A lists, B lists, and alternative lists grow instead of dwindle. However, every once in a while we find we must put our lists on hold.

  Our mother was a list maker. Her lists were often on the back of envelopes. Even when the memory thief slipped into her life, she remembered to make her grocery lists. To our mother, food was the gift on her love list.
 The love list concept is perhaps not new. As I talked with others about a love list, I was reminded of the admonition from the Sisters of Notre Dame, who taught us in elementary school.
 “Remember, girls, live today as if it was your last day. Pretend there is a tiny microphone on your shoulder so that if you say something unkind, the world will hear you. Speak today only words of love.”

 Of course, these same good sisters threatened that we would burn forever in hell if we ever sneaked and kissed a boy from the neighboring schoolyard.

 But their good words resonated as we sat with our mother during her final hours as she tried to catch snippets of conversation from all the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren who came to say goodbye. Whenever she asked what they were saying, we told her they were saying how much they loved their Great-Nanny.

 In our heart of hearts we all know what we should be doing to bring love into our own lifeand the lives of those around us. Ancient philosophers have long told us:

  •  Speak kindly to everyone you meet; everyone carries a heavy burden.
  •  Wish blessings to others, even those who hurt you.
  •  Be forgiving of everyone who has hurt you, and be forgiving of yourself.
  •  Express your love to those you really love, instead of saying “They know I love them.”
  •  Be comfortable forming the words “I love you.”
  Remind yourself often throughout the day that those you love are a gift and you have no idea just how long they will be yours to cherish.

 If we live the love list, it will be our most important list. Our last list will most likely be a list of unfinished business and it will remain so. However, expressing love — in words and actions — will live in hearts forever.
Rita Watson (ritawatson.com) is an All About You relationship columnist.

Providence JournalByline Rita WatsonSunday, August 11, 2013Page: H5Section: All About You