From my Providence Journal column: “Before discovering the power of “thank you,” John Kralik was living in one room, experiencing strained relationships, and watching his law practice fall on hard times. At this low point, something resonated.
He described to me a walk he took in the Echo Mountains of Pasadena, Calif. It was there that he sensed “a growing awareness, a voice within.” What he heard was this: “Until you learn to be grateful for the things you have, you will not receive the things you want.”
That Christmas his oldest son gave him a one-cup-at-a-time coffee maker. With this gift, Kralik said, “He was saying that he knew something about me. I’m a notorious caffeine freak.” He decided to write his son a thank you note, but realized that he did not know the address.
“Realizing you do not have the address of someone really takes you out of yourself and helps you focus on the other person. You begin asking questions such as, ‘Where are they living? How are they doing?’
“We get so wrapped up in the day-to-day that we lose touch. I decided to hand write a note rather than send him one that was machine created. When someone receives a hand-written note they know it came from a person who evaluated their decision to write. Hand writing for me is greater admissible evidence of concern.”
What transpired after Kralik wrote to his son was a surprise. They met and his son repaid a $4,000 loan.
That Christmas he also wrote to his daughter, a source of sunshine. Within what he regarded as a dismal apartment, she found her creative voice. She turned the back of a wicker sofa into her fort where she wrote and made specially designed paper dolls as gifts for her classmates.
Gratitude became his way back to success and harmony. “I was at the point of financial collapse, but I decided to keep saying thank you,” said Kralik. “I wrote to other attorneys and to good clients. One colleague said, ‘When you thanked me, I appreciated it. When we sent you a client we didn’t know how you felt about it.’ ”
Kralik further added: “I didn’t gain control of the universe. There were some setbacks. But in the act of being thankful — which is after all good manners — my world began to thrive.”
He documented his experience in “365 THANK YOUS: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life,” published by Hyperion. The father of two sons, ages 29 and 26, and a 10-year-old daughter, Kralik is now Judge Kralik of the Los Angeles Superior Court.
Rita Watson, one of our Relationship columnists and a regular op-ed page contributor, is an author, mother and incurable romantic. You can reach her at www.ritawatson.com.