In praise of mealtime, at the table: Providence Journal

The welcome table at our grandmother’s home was a place for family. She believed that at the table you learned to “read” people — from the expressions on their faces, the questions they asked or did not, their laughter, smiles, snickers and silence.    The dining room table gave us a lesson in relationships.
With both Passover and Easter falling within days of each other, families will come to the table to commemorate their religious beliefs and carry on tradition. It might be a good time to think about the value of sharing meals.
Writing “The Family Meal” recently for Psychology Today, Christopher Peterson, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, said: “Increase the number of family meals you share. Turn off the television. Catch up with one another. Linger at the dinner table. None of this can hurt. And I suspect it will help your kids be better people.”
When I talked with Joseph Califano, founder and chairman of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University, he said: “Eat meals together — it makes a difference.   “The more often children have dinner with parents, the less likely they will smoke, drink, or use drugs,” he added.
Research studies indicate that only 40 to 50 percent of families have dinner together just two or three times a week.
Indeed, Ed Iannuccilli, Rhode Island physician and former chairman of the board at Rhode Island Hospital, is asking “Whatever Happened to Family Dinner?” in his new book available through Amazon.com.
He says: “Do you remember the phrase ‘Sunday best’; the day when you were at your best…clothes, shoes, behavior…in preparation for church, a ride, a visit, but most of all, for Sunday dinner? Do you remember when stores were closed for rest and relaxation? Do you remember the day of food and conversation with a meal prepared by Grandma?”
Dr. Iannuccilli added: “My grandmother prepared simple southern Italian meals. She was a small, quiet, purposeful and efficient kitchen technician buzzing from pantry to stove to dining room with a gravy-splashed apron skirting her waist.  She was pleased and proud to have her family there. ‘Come on, sit, sit, it’s time to eat. Mangia, Mangia.’ ”
In our own household, Grandma said the table was a good place for couples and families to communicate and settle a squabble. Her wisdom came long before she knew that the words “come to the table” were a negotiating term in business.
In her world, no matter how much we may have disagreed, Grandma believed that any argument could be settled at the table with a bowl of pasta followed by a cup of percolated demitasse and a good cannoli.
Rita Watson, an incurable romantic, is our relationship columnist and regular Journal contributor whose Web address is ritawatson.com  .