In baseball, and in life, to forgive is divine

Behavior between couples who become angry with one another can often resemble an exchange between a baseball player and an umpire. One disagrees. The other confronts. Words are exchanged. And before you know it, someone is ejected from the game — it happens in baseball and in marriage. However, two years ago in June we saw a lesson in sheer relationship elegance in baseball — and no, it didn’t happen on Father’s Day. But every man and woman would consider such forgiveness a gift on any day.
The Tigers’ young pitcher at the time, Armando Galarraga, was deprived of a rare achievement by an umpire’s mistaken call. And he behaved like a gentleman. In some ways the behavior of the pitcher reflected the high road taken by Hillary Clinton, Silda Spitzer and Elizabeth Edwards — women who forgave their spouses for the ultimate indignity, infidelity.
On the baseball field with the umpire’s call, the pitcher lost the honor of pitching the 21st perfect game ever played in baseball history. With instant replay, the umpire realized his mistake and tearfully apologized. The Tiger’s pitcher accepted his apology graciously. The exchange was considered a defining moment in baseball.
In the world of forgiveness, there is the one who asks forgiveness and the one who accepts the apology. But even if the apology is not accepted, when we are angry at someone, we are still ultimately responsible for forgiving the other person — even if they are wrong. Refusing to forgive and holding a grudge is dangerous to your heart and your health.
If you don’t solve the problem that was at the root of the anger it may manifest itself in other ways and even in other relationships.
Forgiveness saves your health. Those who are angry, bitter, and determined to “get even” will find that hostility is a predictor of heart attacks.
When children are involved, even in the case of infidelity, women are likely to put aside the hurt, and take some time to consider how a divorce will affect their family.
Hillary Clinton always held her head high and kept their marriage intact despite the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Silda Spitzer stood by the former governor’s side and even took partial responsibility for his involvement with a high-priced escort.
And keep in mind the words of the late Elizabeth Edwards on “The Nate Berkus Show”: “I have three living children for whom this is a father whom I want them to love … It’s really important to me that they see him in a positive light.”
The moral of this story was said best by Alexander Pope: “To err is human, to forgive divine.”
Copyright 2012 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved
 
 
 
In baseball, and in life, to forgive is divine on Page H5 of Sunday, June 17, 2012 issue of Providence Journal