By Rita Watson
Emotions are contagious. In your relationships you can catch happiness just as easily as you can catch negativity, a cold or the flu. While we often spend time trying to read the feelings of others through their facial expressions or body language, few of us realize how much the happiness or unhappiness of another directly affects our own well-being. Unlike meeting with difficulty at home — where two people may be angry but will kiss and make up — negative emotional contagion is insidious.
Very often it slips up on us at work or while we are out with friends. How often have you returned from being out with someone only to find yourself exasperated, at wit’s end? Oftentimes this happens because, although you like the person, he or she has a way of picking your brain, exhausting you with endless questions, or pleading with you for advice.
If you could just be with the person and then switch them off as easily as you switch off a television, you would be fine. But here is the problem: toxic people or toxic situations simmer inside of you.
Sherri Bourg Carter, psychologist and author of “High Octane Women: How Superachievers Can Avoid Burnout,” talks of the problem in the recent Psychology Today.com piece, “Emotions Are Contagious — Choose Your Company Wisely.” She says: “Studies have found that the mimicry of a frown or a smile or other kinds of emotional expression trigger reactions in our brains that cause us to interpret those expressions as our own feelings. Simply put, as a species, we are innately vulnerable to ‘catching’ other people’s emotions.”
What you lose in an hour with someone who saps your emotional energy and joy may take a full day of recovery. If the negative contagion takes place at lunch, for example, when you meet up with that smiling love in your life later in the day, you lack the ability to convey joy. What is worse, however, is that because emotions are contagious he or she will soon feel good energy drain away — because a “taker” robbed you of good feelings.
But it is pretty simple to protect yourself by relying on your intuition. If you shudder when someone’s name pops up on your phone, it’s a red flag waving. This does not necessarily mean that you should avoid a friend in need, but rather that you should know your limits.
To keep your own relationships loving, associate with people who appreciate a smile, understand the concept of gratitude, and know the wisdom in turning the other cheek. Being mindful of friendships that are mutually beneficial; these will bring you a certain peace of mind.
Rita Watson, an incurable romantic, is one of our relationship columnists and a regular Journal contributor. Her Web address is ritawatson.com.
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| Emotions are contagious. In your relationships you can catch happiness just as easily as you can cat… | |||
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