With just days to go before Thanksgiving, many people are a bundle of nerves. If you are hosting a Thanksgiving meal, the planning alone can be overwhelming. However, by looking forward to the day with gratitude, you can feel happier, strengthen your relationships, and boost your immune system. These are some of the benefits found by researchers with a $5.6-million grant to study gratitude at the University of California, Berkeley and UC Davis.
Thanksgiving often brings out the best and the worst in families. Television sitcoms portray the day with under-cooked turkeys and overheated emotions.
Nonetheless, this may be the time to take advantage of personalities and weave them into a family memoir or just one thankful day. Even if you are dreading the grumpy uncle or the know-it-all aunt, try planting seeds of gratitude before guests arrive. With an email or phone call let them know how grateful you are that they will be joining you. “Gratitude” is a powerful word.
Perhaps ask each person joining you to bring a smile and their favorite gratitude saying written on an index card or a piece of paper: Here are three of my favorites:
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” — Marcel Proust.
“For me, every hour is grace. And I feel gratitude in my heart each time I can meet someone and look at his or her smile.” — Elie Wisel.
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” — John F. Kennedy.
When guests arrive, point them to a gratitude bowl. They can either drop in their favorite quotes or reach into a basket set next to the bowl filled with pens and paper to write something personal for which they are grateful.
The value of this is simple — it immediately deflects the tension that people expect will be generated by difficult relatives. Also at each plate you may wish to add a card with a positive saying, such as: “We are blessed that you are sharing this meal with us today.” Then after dinner, each person can take turns reading the sayings in your gratitude bowl.
For those who are alone, perhaps put on an apron, spend the day at a homeless shelter, and with each plate of food you serve, give thanks.
Rita Watson: How to really feel gratitude and share it/ Nov. 16, 2014
Rita Watson is a relationship columnist for The Journal and PsychologyToday.com.