Hidden agendas are relationship hell that live in a cauldron of unspoken words and fiery outbursts.
You might recognize these words from one of my Relationship columns, where I go on to say, “The good professor believes that women are masters of the veiled word and tells me, ‘You just can’t seem to say what you mean.'”
I’m bringing it up again because my Sunday column is about infidelity, because a number of you emailed me about this, and it was the topic of reader’s comment.
First off, let me say that once Ferol gets back from his honeymoon, we are moving away from you having to register to leave a comment and making it via a simple email so you can say what you wish to all the readers and not just be emailing me.
Second, I promised pictures, but I need to wait for my technical guru to arrive on Friday.
Now back to hidden agendas and words. Words play a real role in the way men move in and out of a relationship. While men see sniping and biting words as masking hidden agendas, and oftentimes they do, more women say to me that their biting remarks are a reaction to their man’s passive aggressiveness.
He withdraws into silence, and cutting words are just a way to “get a reaction.” Even though it may be a negative reaction and push a guy off the relationship cliff, women find that passive agressiveness is a real relationship downer — something that pushes them off the edge.
Something occured to me this week-end at the lovely wedding we attended of Ferol and Ricci. Exhaustion is perhaps the singlemost factor that sends unkind words from women’s lips. I wonder how often two people are just both just so tired, so weary, that their words become thoughtless because they are hurting and wanting just a tiny bit of gentleness and understanding.
I for one am going to try something revolutionary — eight hours of sleep.
By the by, here is the column Sexual shutout in hidden agenda hell (Sept 2007)
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson