from my Providence Journal Column
08/21/2011 01:00 AM EDT
Whether you are left at the altar, find your husband has a lover, or realize one day that the child who exhausts you has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, you have a choice. You can take control of the situation before it takes control of you, with a sense of humor and determination. Or you can become really angry. Here is a look at three women and their choices.
Katherine Ellison is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist whose biggest challenge was not necessarily being chased by killer bees or arrested in Cuba — but adjusting to life in an ADHD family.
The late Susie Buffett saw her uber-rich husband, Warren Buffett, CEO and chairman of Berkshire-Hathaway, living with a mistress.
Erica Wang was jilted by celebrity Chef Todd English.
First the ADHD: Katherine Ellison’s distinguished career probably did not prepare her for her son Buzz. Life was so tumultuous that she realized one day that she had only three choices left: Her son would go to boarding school. She would go to boarding school. Or they would work on a plan together. Her book “BUZZ: A Year of Paying Attention” was conceived.
Next, infidelity: One day Warren Buffett’s wife moved out on him. Nonetheless, she was worried about Warren and asked someone to look after him. The woman apparently took the task seriously. She moved in and became his mistress. Susie, the mother of his three children, remained married to Warren until her death in 2005. Susie apparently had a sense of humor because when it was time for holiday cards, reports say they were signed by all three: Warren, Susie and Astrid.
Next is the bride at the altar. Just before his wedding to Erica Wang, Todd English had a change of heart. With all of the wedding guests assembled at the St. Regis — instead of wearing white for her marriage — she donned black and joined the guests to party into the night. Despite the two sides to every story which later surfaced, in this case Wang made the best of a bad situation.
Who is your challenge: A husband, lover, boss, coworker or your child? You have two choices, either happiness or hostility. Choose hostility and it will take its toll on your health. Choose happiness and you have a shot at a solution that may even put an end to your headaches, backaches, stomachaches and sleepless nights.
With hostility the real question is this: Are you willing to give another person power over you, your health? If you choose to smile and hold your head up high, you will have everyone wondering if you are holding the trump card.
Rita Watson, one of our Relationship columnists and a regular op-ed page contributor, is an author, mother and incurable romantic. You can reach her at www.ritawatson.com.