It’s the Fourth of July and a good time to break free of past relationship patterns that were destructive or hurtful. Even if you are with a new love, it might be your old love in disguise.
So many times we go back to what we know. Women recognize themselves doing this, oftentimes men do not.
I can help him change: We all have women friends who are in a destructive relationship, they know it, but they believe they can overcome and help their man change. Too often we heard the words, “I know he drinks, but… “I know he gambles, but… “I know he gave me herpes and lied about it, but he loved me so much he was afraid to lose me…
Please, ladies, set yourselves free!
For men it is less obvious. Despite problems with moving old blog to new — you are still getting in touch and telling me your stories. Here are two good ones:
In my past relationships, the women were looking for a meal ticket. This one is different. She really digs me. But we come from different backgrounds and my friends think she is waiting for her ticket…” “In my past relationships, women had a hidden agenda. My new girlfriend is a younger and pretty innocent. When I traveled to San Francisco from New York one night, I think she called all the hotels in the city trying to find me.
At first I thought she was trying to track me down. But she told me the truth, that she just wanted to say ‘good-night.’ It was sort of sweet.”
No point in going on – you get the picture. Hello Cluleless? Are you there?
Friends and truth: When friends try to tell you the truth that you don’t want to hear, do you get angry or defensive? Probably both. Too bad because friends with whom you have a history, want to love and protect you.
Ladies, take a look to see whether or not you are dating a loser: Red Flags
Here is some advice for the men: Seven Mistakes
Head over heels: Men have a more difficult time than women breaking old patterns because too often they fall head over heels with looks and don’t take a good look inside the heart and soul of the woman whom them are with.
Even when a woman might be telling outright lies, they find excuses. Why? It is easier than confronting. Women on the other hand talk to their girlfriends who may yell, scream, and beg them to toss out the guy with the bad pattern!
Change even for the better is difficult. But wake up and tell yourself over and over again, “I deserve the best.”
Happy Fourth!
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson