Our father still remembers his days working with Frank Sinatra and the legendary body guard Jilly Rizzo. As sound consultant to “Ole Blue Eyes,” our father, Vince Esposito, and mother, Clara, spent many weeks at the Fountainbleau in Miami Beach, where Sinatra performed on stage and partied off stage. These were the Rat Pack days in the ’60s when he was making the movie Tony Rome (1967).
Soon Dad will celebrate his 89th birthday. He will look at all of us and say, “Can you imagine all these old guys are gone, and I am still here?” He might even take out a wireless microphone that brought the stars to Vinco, his New Haven, Conn., company. In turn, the stars took him on their worldwide tours. And in the United States, Tony Bennett brought him to the Johnson White House. That year, first lady Lady Bird Johnson sent him an 18 by 24 inch Christmas card.
Our father remembers the travels, the music and the stories. The photo albums are a reminder of glory days. When he turned 80, we designed a newspaper called The VINCO Times filled with photos and articles from his show-business time. Then we celebrated at the New Haven Lawn Club with several members of the Yale Precision Marching Band playing “Hail to the Chief” when he arrived, then filling the afternoon with Sinatra sounds.
Dad recalls the days with Frank so well that it is difficult to grasp that his memory slips further away each day. But we are grateful for the good memories because there were times when he went through long dark periods.
When recent reports surfaced about the beta-blocker propranolol as possibly erasing traumatic memories, my family was one of many hopeful for a day when bad memories could simply be banished with a pill. That day does not appear to be imminent.
While there is no drug to erase bad memories, for those with early dementia work is being done with reminiscence therapy, a popular psycho-social intervention. Some research suggests that when the elderly have an opportunity to discuss past events, with a focus on the positive, it helps to improve moods.
Whenever our family is together Dad’s mood elevates. At our annual Italian family Christmas, he remarks often, “Isn’t this nice. Everybody gets along so well.” He loves family gatherings with grandchildren visiting and great-grandchildren running to him saying, “Poppy, Poppy.” They sit with him and play and wait for his paper airplanes to fly. Oftentimes Frank will be singing in the background and he will say to us, “Did I ever tell you about Frank?”
One day in reminiscing about grandparent days, our children will tell their children about Nanny and Poppy and Frank Sinatra. They will look at pictures, listen to the music, and come to see what Poppy is holding onto for himself while at the same time sharing with his family – a treasure of memories.
Copyright 2009 Rita Watson
(Adapted from Sinatra, my father, and memories good and bad, Sunday, April 5, 2009, Providence Journal)