On this day in which we celebrate St. Patrick, even without the merry-making we experienced before pandemic shutdowns, people will find the time to raise a glass and express happiness. It seems to be a time when we put aside grudges and little irritations that cloud our day.
That said, it is important to resolve annoyances in a gentle way. What happens when you do not voice your angry feelings? You toss them into a “Grudges Bag” or your gunny sack. Metaphorically speaking, gunny sacking is a conflict resolution term associated with the notion of storing up resentments.
One day, it is so filled with anger that it bursts at the seams.
We all know that spilling a glass of milk can trigger an explosive argument. But it isn’t the milk, per se. It’s that gunny sack of grievances.
Whenever you think to yourself, “This is the last straw; now I’m really going to blow my stack” — Stop — Take a minute to breathe. This is when “Silence is golden.” We talk so much about anger in our society that few of us realize how damaging it can be.
We cannot really control our feelings. We feel what we feel. However, we can control our actions and reactions. Oftentimes, when we are angry, we simply lash out. Sometimes we may not say what is on our minds to the person who made us angry, but, the next person who comes along becomes the recipient of our unkind words.
Here are some thoughts for heading off conflicts:
Create a serenity spot: Find a place within your home for gathering your thoughts. Perhaps share this space with someone important to you who happens to be annoying you. Use it as a cooling off spot, a place to help you feel forgiving and grounded.
Watch your words: When you are angry, just voice one problem and offer one possible solution. Then listen, maybe he or she has another idea. It may require some give and take, but eventually you may be able to work out your differences.
Forgive yourself, your friends, family, and your partner: If you are seething, let it go. Forgive. Say this to yourself: “I forgive you and you forgive me. What happened between us is over. We are both blessed.”
If you yourself: “Is this situation going to matter in two years,” the answer will probably be “No.” So now the next step is to move on — free yourself. Search for Shamrocks or even look for a four-leaf clover.
Copyright 2021 Rita Watson