Every summer, I hear from someone whose friendship I have treasured since my college years. Although she relocated to Hawaii, she still weaves in and out of my life. When we first met, we shared an Italian family bond. Our lives became like a merry-go-round, or more precisely, like the horses that moved up and down.
I remember when my sons were playing sports in high school, we had many soccer friends, baseball parent friends, hockey friends. We enjoyed the camaraderie, yet these friendships faded as the boys went off to college.
While moves or a situational change does not always alter a friendship, in reality, both time and circumstances often play an unexpected role.
As the Social Science Journal pointed out in a February 2015 article “Researchers propose that friendship formation is a process that occurs relatively quickly.” However, what one eventually learns is the difference between a friend and an acquaintance.
Friend or acquaintance?
This decision for friend or acquaintance can be tricky. You may spend many hours with people at the gym, at the faculty club, at a child’s school, or the dog park. You might even exchange some private and personal information because you are thinking that you would like to get to know the person better. But your time is limited.
Keep in mind that situations change. Our lives can become complicated by such unexpected factors as a family crisis, a move, a new love, or a divorce. Or for some of us, we are blessed with grandchildren, who quite unexpectedly, as they become teens, become the center of our universe. And then relationships drift away.
As I am going through texts and emails from friends asking: “When are we going to get together?” I now understand how some very close friends drifted away as their children or grandchildren become teenagers. As I look back, I now wish they had been honest enough to say:
“My circumstances have changed. It seems that our friendship was seasonal. But please know that I am grateful for the time we shared.”
Copyright 2022 Rita Watson