We are less than two weeks into the New Year and for many of us those New Year resolutions are already wishful thinking.
With resolutions, people often make a pact with themselves to turn around bad habits. Instead, try embracing acceptance, gratitude, and happiness. In doing so you can turn 2015 into the year you became more loving of yourself and more gracious towards those you care about.
Embrace acceptance: If you are having trouble feeling good about yourself, chances are that you are focusing on those extra 10 pounds. In doing so you are ignoring the positive qualities that make you a good friend and a loving person.
Whenever I fall into that pattern, I think about Suzanne Sugarbaker of “Designing Women,” an early ’90s television show. Despite weight struggles, actress Delta Burke, both on-screen and in life, often dressed looking like the beauty queen that she was in high school when crowned Miss Florida. Accept yourself and work towards a healthy weight. Dress to feel beautiful.
Embrace gratitude: Becoming more loving of those we love can be glorious or a chore. Instead of being a complainer, express gratitude for all of the people in your life and become a listener.
First listen to your inner voice and ask yourself why it is that the habits of certain people exasperate you. Researchers tell us that we oftentimes see ourselves in the shadow side of others.
Part of a gratitude exercise is being grateful for yourself, including your shortcomings. When you begin expressing gratitude, you even become more tolerant of those who are thorns in your side.
Embrace happiness: Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Happiness Project,” has a gift for putting challenges in perspective. When I spoke with her about relationship problems, she pointed out the need for “arguments that are productive and loving, not exhausting, unpleasant, and pointless.”
A few of her tips include: “Joke about the conflict. Take a 20 minute recess. Hug and kiss.”
Keep in mind that acceptance, gratitude, and happiness are attainable. Simply make the decision to do so even if it means reinventing yourself.
Rita Watson is a relationship columnist for The Providence Journal and PsychologyToday.com.
Published on 11 January 2015 Rita Watson: Show gratitude for a new year, a new you