TIME Magazine this week is featuring a story about DNA tests that can help predict couples that might be the perfect match. I wrote about this on Sunday, August 3, 2008. Here is the edited version with a link at the end to the TIME magazine article.
DNA and Desire
HEART-FLUTTER romance may soon be replaced by DNA dating and brain-wave sex. With 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, maybe genetic profiling will improve the odds. Match making by chemistry is a novel strategy to entice those of us still skeptical about online dating. The services run from $199 to $2,000 and profess to find the perfect match.
But what about romance and Cloud Nine? Despite science I hope that acquiring DNA samples from the inside of each other’s cheeks will not be replacing the goodnight kiss.
The new chemistry dating concept was inspired in part by controversial research over the years ranging from women’s choices of men’s sweaty T-shirts to pheromones, the natural aphrodisiac and mating scent in humans and other mammals. Preference analysis revealed that women choose men whose genes are somewhat similar (yet different) to their own, theoretically making for happier marriages.
Definitions for “happy marriage” uniquely differ, but we know that sex and money are deal breakers. Women often say, “If I ever get married again, it’s full disclosure with sex and finance cards on the table.” With the news that a Georgia grand jury awarded a jilted woman $150,000 last month, men might agree. After paying off $30,000 of her debts, the intended groom bailed.
The sex issue is complicated because of the interplay of emotions, hormones and health. As such, great loving during the infatuation period does not guarantee a lifetime of passion. There are 20 million sexless marriages in the United States.
Lust, attraction and attachment are regulated by brain circuits and natural compounds. Creating libido-enhancing medications for those with low sex drive has daunted chemists. Some researchers are pointing to the power of the mind.
Sexual dysfunction affects about 45 percent of women and over 30 percent of men in the United States and yet there is no effective medication for women. The July Journal of Sexual Medicine reported on a Buddhist type of meditation called “mindfulness, the practice of relaxed wakefulness.”
The reaction of a retired educator living in Hawaii was this: “Oh, great. Men get a little blue pill and all we get to do is breathe deeply or maybe chant ‘oom’ three times after a yoga workout. Thankfully, it sometimes works,” says Adele Wilson.
Men often tell me that sex is the glue that holds marriages together. But women say it is more about devotion, family and simple acts of romance and forgiveness. On the brain-wave scale, love scores higher than sex, which may account for matrimonial desire despite the second-time-around divorce rate. (National statistics range between 50 and 60 percent for divorce after a second marriage within seven years. Some sources say the figure could be 70 percent within three years when stepchildren are involved.)
With perhaps half of single daters mid-life and divorced, maybe DNA testing is the answer to lasting love. It could be very simple. At the end of the evening instead of puckering up, we take out our kits. Remove a Q-tip. Then passionately whisper: “Close your eyes. Open your mouth wide, and say, ‘aahh.’ ”
(The full article is in the Relationship Columns.
To read the TIME magazine article please go to: Genetics and Love
Copyright 2009 Rita Watson