Whenever we say “Yes,” when we mean “No” oftentimes it is because something inside of us has already reached the conclusion that things are not going to end well. Nonetheless, we say “Yes.”
Here are some examples.
1. You plan to spend the night at home. A friend calls and talks you into going to a movie you really didn’t want to see. You go anyway. It was a nightmare. The next day you find yourself walking in circles annoyed with yourself because you did not trust your instincts, which said, “Stay at home.”
2. You’ve been in a “friends with benefits relationship,” but recently you have been thinking that you are losing out on the benefits. You want to tell your partner it’s over, but you don’t. This drags on for a week and you get angrier and angrier with yourself.
3. Your best friend asks if she can borrow money. The last time she took forever to pay you back and you have a funny feeling inside about this time. But you loan her the money nonetheless. Two months later, she still hasn’t repaid you and then announces she is going to Aruba.
These are the situations in which you find yourself pounding a table asking: “Why? Why? Why did I say ‘Yes’ when I really meant ‘No,’? Here are three tips that might help you trust your intuition.
Tip One: Keep a list called My Table Pounding Whys and post it next to your phone, on your fridge, or on your bathroom mirror! Write down all the times you did not trust that feeling inside.
Tip Two: Learn to like the sound of “No,” while you practice saying, “I really need to get back to you,” when pressed for an answer. Take a few precious moments to think about what you really want to be doing and respond in a way that honestly reflects your feelings.
Tip Three: Blink. If for one second, you are in doubt – then don’t.
If you have traditionally been a “pleaser” it may take some time to really speak your mind. But consider this — whenever you say “yes” when you mean ”no” you lose time being angry with yourself. You owe it to yourself to live your life peacefully.
Copyright 2022 Rita Watson