Cranston couple’s story of cultivating love that lasts for decades /
Published on 26 January 2014
Stories of high school sweethearts always make us smile. Without reading the research on what it takes for a long, happy marriage, Barbara and Steve Schiano of Cranston found their own way. Friends for 51 years and married for 42 years, theirs is the simple story of growing up together.
When Steve saw Barbara in the ninth grade, he was just 13, but it was love at first sight. “The minute I saw her, I told one of my buddies, ‘See that girl. I am going to go out with her and marry her.’”
The two were in JohnsonHigh School and were married shortly after Barbara graduated from college. But Steve was not going to let his love slip through his fingers. He began visiting her at home, sharing Sunday meals, and working around the house with her father. He was so much a part of the Matteucci family that it was Steve who helped the man — who taught him wine-making — through Alzheimer’s.
Barbara said, “When my father became agitated, Steve took him for rides and played Frank Sinatra CDs to calm him.”
After 42 years of marriage, Steve’s eyes light up when he calls Barbara, “A really good kid.”
Barbara said, “Last night I asked Steve why he loved me. He said: ‘Because you are funny, warm and intelligent — nothing extraordinary.’ And we laughed. But then he said he loved me because ‘I needed to be loved and he knows that I truly love him just the way he is.’ I loved him when he was13-years-old and so much more at 64.”
The couple was married on November 7, 1971 at St. Rocco’s Church in Johnston. They chose the 7th because that was Mickey Mantle’s number and both are devoted Yankee fans. They have two grown single daughters: Jessica is at 92 PRO-FM and Alainna is a New York event planner. Barbara says, “They tell me we set the bar too high.”
She admits that in some ways they painted too rosy a picture of marriage never letting their children see when there were problems.
“We grew up together heading in the same direction, not apart. We had a traditional marriage with clearly defined roles. We worked at our marriage. We are committed to our vows,” she said.
Perhaps key to their marriage is respect. They say that even during serious disagreements, they know never to truly hurt, offend, insult or especially manipulate. Also, they know when to compromise. However, this couple essentially agrees that love is not enough!
“To be in a loving, fulfilling marriage takes a great deal of time and effort,” Barbara said, adding, “But it is well worth it.”
Rita Watson is an All About You relationship columnist who also writes for Thrive.