Whether because of escalating marital infidelity, solidarity with gay couples who have been denied the right to marry, or what has been a 50 percent divorce rate, living together instead of marriage is on the rise in 13 countries.
According to Time magazine, “More than 5 million unmarried couples cohabit in the U.S., nearly eight times the number in 1970, and a record-breaking 40% of babies born in 2007 had unmarried parents (that’s up 25% from 2002).
In a letter to the editor at Time magazine this week someone expressed a growing sentiment: “Even though it can be tricky at times, we are living in domestic-partnership bliss, and I hope in our lifetimes we and our gay friends will be able to check the MARRIED box on census forms. TIME
Last July I wrote a piece for the Providence Journal called, “New Rules for Open Marriage,” and interviewed a young couple from Portland, Oregon. She said: “Marriage is a government and legal institution, and we have lost faith in both. Why do I need these institutions telling me that my relationship is official?”
And he said: “”We are working on being good partners for each other, like other couples who are married or not, gay or straight, young and old. I also see living together as a sacred ritual where two people can publicly make a commitment to caring for each other . even if you are pagan anarchists.” Relationship columns
The trend is making news. A new article in Rodale News says, “Sharing a home but not wedding vows is more popular than ever in the U.S. More unmarried couples than ever before are living together, and having children together. But like marriage, committed cohabitation comes with significant legal and relationship issues.” Rodale.com/legal-rights
What message do marriage alternatives give to young people? In the absence of role models, perhaps it is time for family-focused education that includes conflict resolution, financial management, sexual responsibility and child care. We might even consider courses that talk about intimacy and love as a choice rather than wild infatuation. But primarily it might be time for all of us to begin looking more closely at choices — the risks and benefits.
However, despite my belief in marriage, here is a photo gallery of the happily committed but unmarried in Hollywood. TIME photo gallery
OTHER STORIES YOU MIGHT ENJOY READING from my Sudden Passion series to:
Looking for love, the search goes on
Paul Newman and me, and all who want to believe in a faithful husband
Copyright 2009 Rita Watson
