Choosing happiness over hostility is healthier for minds and bodies. Numerous studies tell us what we know intuitively, smiling makes us feel better, and may even be preventive medicine. Smile even as we risk failure as Gretchen Rubin reports today in Psychology Today Enjoy the Fun of Failure.
I was reminded of this piece adapted here from my Health News column, about her work on the Happiness Project and her tips for fighting fairly.
The ability to smile, to kiss and make up after an argument, is vital to our well being, and a major contributing factor to success in love and marriage. There are even reports that suggest that depression in and of itself drives couples into counseling.
Depression rates
“Nearly 15 million American adults, or about 6.7% of the U.S. population age 18 and older, is affected with a major depression in a given year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
“Statistics about how frequently depression affects one partner in a relationship are elusive. . . .but depression often leads couples to seek counseling, fearful the depression will lead to divorce.” Depression and Divorce: How Depression Affects Marriage and Divorce
The happiness project – thwart infidelity
If you need some happiness help take a look again at the The Happiness Project.Her blog is a collection of insights to help us create happiness projects, which are blossoming around the globe. My ‘gigantic engine of happiness‘ – CNN.com
In the wake of all the infidelity news that rears its ugly head all too often, here are some tips on fighting fairly — and from my Infidelity Fast Facts, Love 7 signs so you can nip it in the bud.
Helping couples
She says, “Many couples try to ‘solve’ their problems, when in fact, many problems can’t be solved. How much time to spend with the in-laws, how to spend money, how to discipline children, who does various chores…these arguments will happen over and over. They aren’t problems that can be permanently fixed.
“So one thing I’ve thought a lot about is how the Big Man and I can fight right. How can we have arguments that are productive and loving, not exhausting, unpleasant, and pointless? I’m much more likely to tackle a subject. The Big Man tries to avoid an argument at all cost – usually, with the simple tactic of not answering me when I raise some difficult issue – which just makes me madder, of course. I can’t say that I’ve made a huge amount of progress, but these are the tips I’m trying to follow, in order to fight right.” This Wednesday: Five tips for how to FIGHT RIGHT with your sweetheart.;
Summary of tips
Here is a summary of each tip she offers you can read the whole piece by following the link below:
1. Joke about the conflict.
2. Take a break ( a 20 minute recess).
3. Throw money at the problem.
4. Hug and kiss.
5. Make “repair attempts.”
For more links and to leave a comment, please go to:
Choose happiness, fight fairly, and always kiss and make-up
You may wish to SUBSCRIBE or follow me:
Rita Watson (LoveColumnist) on Twitter
Copyright 2010 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved