Cheat, “but don’t tell” seems to be a new theme. And there seems to be a lot of cheating going around in both men and women as Dr. Ruth told me last May.
Before writing my June column Married but Cheating (Sunday June 1, 2008) I asked Dr. Ruth about infidelity as faculty and fellows lined up for Commencent at Yale. My simple question, “Why do men cheat?” came back with a firm — “It’s not just the men!”
The news reports and the articles bear out her prediction — more younger people are cheating and so are older men — those going through their 60s life crisis as well as women over 60. The New York Times reported Monday about the New Infidelity and ironically, although I missed seeing the article, I talked about whether or not you should fess up in my column yesterday. There are links to blog posts from earlier this year. Should you or shouldn’t tell? That is the question.
Reporting in the New York Times, Tara Parker-Pope pointed out, “ But detailed analysis of the data from 1991 to 2006, to be presented next month by Dr. Atkins at the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies conference in Orlando, show some surprising shifts. University of Washington researchers have found that the lifetime rate of infidelity for men over 60 increased to 28 percent in 2006, up from 20 percent in 1991. For women over 60, the increase is more striking: to 15 percent, up from 5 percent in 1991. Love, Sex and the Changing Landscape of Infidelity
We also learn that cheating is up in younger people as well. ”About 20 percent of men and 15 percent of women under 35 say they have ever been unfaithful, up from about 15 and 12 percent respectively.”
Snooping on Spouses: Now if you are really concerned about an unfaithful spouse there is technology out there to help you pry into their cell phone life. It is software that is actually made to allow you into someone’s private life. There was a time when this was called invasion of privacy! Snooping on Cheating Spouses
Professors to blame? Just why cheating among younger women is up has been debated. But some wonder if it has to do with a basic moral lapse on campus and too many male professors deluding themselves into believing it is all right to get involved with students.
In talking to more Yale folks I was directed to this essay, “Love on Campus” by William Deresiewicz. In critiquing the many movies in which he notes professors fall in love with students, he says: ”In the figure of the movie professor, Americans can vicariously enjoy the thought of close proximity to all that firm young flesh while simultaneously condemning the desire to enjoy it – the old Puritan dodge.” Love on Campus
Ironically people claim infidelity is morally wrong, yet it is still on the rise. For more on cheating, view yesterday’s post Cheating, Cyber-sex, and Secrets
It isn’t always the men who seduce, “Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson.”
The You Tube musical tribute is right here!
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson