A young relative sent me a text at the beginning of December that gave me a new perspective on the New Year. This is the year to make wish lists to boost the brain’s happy chemicals instead of resolutions that are too often doomed to fail.
My niece was double-checking family addresses for holiday cards, which I had not yet thought about. What awed me was realizing that in addition to having adorable little princesses, a wonderful husband and a teaching job, she had spent the summer overcoming an exhausting bout with cancer.
As we all look forward to New Year hope, survivors give us lessons in giving, receiving, gratitude, and expressing love. Thinking about the situation, two questions came to me. When was the last time anyone of us made a date with a special someone and kept it? No texts, no telephones, no important job or social function intrusion. How often do we bicker and argue in front of children rather than setting an example of love?
That’s when I began to ponder the concept of “What would you do if you had nothing to do?” This would be a perfect gift to give to ourselves. Most of us do not even have time in the day to think about our own needs, yet, if we are depleted, we have nothing to give. Here are some thoughts.
- Make a wish list that gives you purpose. Fill it with wishes for right now for yourself and people you love.
- Read children’s books to enliven the imagination. “The Polar Express” will restore your belief in holiday magic.
- Forgive someone to refresh your soul. Spend some serious time thinking about a situation that created strife, including your own role. Then wish blessings.
- Take a nature walk to find little miracles in the song of a bird, beauty of a tree, clouds making shapes ranging from dragons to angels floating by.
- Write a love letter, a serious handwritten love letter, even if it takes a full week to complete.
Lastly, revitalize your brain power. Dr. Loretta Graziano Breuning, author of “Meet Your Happy Chemicals,” says that by embracing a goal we trigger dopamine. Serotonin is triggered by confidence — feel good about yourself and see how good you feel when others respect you. For that endorphin “runners” high, take time to laugh and stretch beyond your limits. Then there is oxytocin, the lovers’ chemical. Love-making releases oxytocin, which builds trust and reinforces bonding. Find more ways to release your reserves.
For an enlightened New Year, instead of the usual resolutions, resolve to boost happiness, enhance positive feelings and plan life-affirming activities. Wishing you a New Year filled with health and joy.
Rita Watson, an incurable romantic, is our relationship columnist and regular Journal contributor whose web address is ritawatson.
Providence Journal, Dec. 30, 2012, All About You section