Have you even noticed that you can wish for something so intensely that you become tense and anxious worrying about the outcome? Sometimes love is one that simply listens and assures rather than add to anxiety already being felt by one’s partner. There is an old song called “Something wonderful.” A few of the lyrics are poignant:
He will not always do, what you would have him do / But now and then he`ll do
Something Wonderful.
He has a thousand dreams That won`t come true,
You know that he believes in them and that’s enough for you! SOMETHING WONDERFUL
Being able to listen to someone we love and offer assurance can help them in achieving a goal, a wish, a dream. Assurance carries a sense of peace.
Be a support instead of a roadblock
1. Listen when a goal, wish, or dream is defined by someone whom you love.
2. Ask two questions: What have you done to achieve the goal? What are your concerns?
3. Listen again.
4. React positively: Whether the goal or dream is reasonable or not, be positive. Instead of saying, “You’ve got to be kidding!” try saying, “I admire your dream, and I understand your concerns.”
5. Perhaps offer to help in making a step-by-step list so as a couple you can turn anxiety into assurance.
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.
Henry David Thoreau
Choosing assurance rather than enabling anxiety can be a defining love moment.
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Copyright 2010 Rita Watson/ All Rights reserved