While we were at the wedding last week, I was seeking quotes for my article on “Married but Cheating.” Seems a bit sacriligeous doesn’t it?
But in talking with writers from the Atlanta Constitution Journal I learned that New York magazine, May 18, 2008, had just done a spread on “The Affairs of Men” by Phillip Weiss. Mind you the next day, Dr. Ruth would point a finger at women. But for now, the long article seemed to explore some salient facts about why men cheat.
Monogamy: A key question was whether or not monogamy is outdated. “There is no more unnatural principle of social organization than sexual exclusivity.” But the author points out, ‘like other of my male sources, he didn’t want me to use his name.’ “Don’t get me divorced!” was the refrain.
What about women who cheat? The author points out, “Society is far more judgmental about women who cheat than men; just read Anna Karenina.”
Cheating website: He also says, “Consider the Website meet2cheat, in which married people find one another for recreational sex; it charges $59 for a man’s three-month entry fee, $9 for a woman. Cheating wives are harder to come by.”
Marital bonds and mistresses: Although for some couples an arrangement works as in the case of Yoko Ono and John Lennon. But it seems that the bond in their marriage was created by a different passion — their art rather than money or sex.
As such there appears to be different types of marriages and different types of relationships. The final quote of the heady article states, “A relationship is a myth you create with each other. It isn’t necessarily true, but it’s meaningful. The key to that myth is that the other person is enough for you. You know in your head that another person isn’t enough for you. But if you don’t honor the myth, then it crumbles.”
The Madonna and Prostitute: The article is good and interesting reading. But I think my hairdresser has the answer to keep men from straying. “All men secretly desire a Madonna to the world and a sex siren in the bedroom. They want variety. And if we want to keep them from straying, we should play whatever role suits their fancy.” The Affairs of Men
(See Married but Cheating for a different perspective.)
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson