As promised, a Dictionary of Love and Danger: For Men Only and here it starts with just one word listed under “A” –adoration. There are plenty more, and we will get to them, but for now it is adoration. When two people first meet, and there is an immediate connection, there are fireworks.
You believe in love at first sight and don’t want to hear that love is blind. In fact, you both feel as if you were touched by the same star. Now here comes the difference with the genders.
Men I know will tell me that they found their heaven on earth, their sun, moon, and stars, or their life soul mate. And despite their loving smile, they will still talk about looking past a few flaws such as possessiveness, nagging, or jealousy. Why? Because the sex is so good and there is a connection. Men see the flaws as a challenge or may feel that as a protector, they can negotiate around what they see as slight imperfections.
The difference between men and women
Women will walk on air for a few weeks and then get right to work trying to change their man — and sometimes for good reason. The men in their naivete, vulnerability, good-heartedness, or just plain “cluelessness” will believe that love conquers all.
This early stage of love is often infatuation –it is filled with inexplicable passion, urgency, and almost addictive need to be with the other person with whom they are completely absorbed. It is the first stage of romance.
The danger — As some Tibetan masters say, “Love that ignites quickly, burns out suddenly.”
Love is a building process and a learning process that enriches and supports without tension. I was impressed tonight to when a sensitive gentleman at our neighborhood “Cheers” told me that he was reading M. Scott Peck’s “The Road Less Traveled” once again. Why? He was trying to understand the essence of love.
We all travel down various paths in this search for love. The joy comes when two people meet along the way, choose each other honestly, and have the courage to leave the hidden agendas by the side of the road. (Yes, agendas are in the A list as well as attraction).
Need some scenarios? Tune in tomorrow.
*Copyright 2008 Rita Watson from The Dictionary of Love and Danger: For Men Only, an FEV Publication