It is so easy to be grateful when the sun is shining. When our dreams seem to be coming true. When the world around us feels blissful.
But are we grateful when there are clouds in the sky? When our perfect plan goes awry? When all doors seem to be closing on us? When our love seems to be drifting away?
How can we be grateful during sad times as well as happy ones? Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., professor of psychology at University of California at Davis, explained to me in an earlier interview: “Gratitude is an attitude, not a feeling that can be easily willed.”
Even if you are not satisfied with your life as it is today, he pointed out that, “If you go through grateful motions, the emotion of gratitude should be triggered. It is like improving your posture and as a result becoming more energetic and self-confident.”
Four step gratitude plan for good times and bad
Here is a simple plan to open the door to more happiness in your life.
Smile: Begin and end your day with a smile. What if you don’t feel like smiling? Find something that will bring a smile to your face. Look through a magazine until you find a picture that helps you bubble over with laughter. Smile at someone you love, even if they have been hurtful to you. How? By recalling a happy moment the two of you shared.
Make a Gratitude Visit: Make an unexpected visit to someone who needs you. And if you cannot go in person, send a little thought gift or handwritten note.
Say the words “Thank you”: So often during the day we take little kindnesses for granted. Someone holds the elevator for us or opens a door. A person in line sees we have only two items and lets us get ahead. You have often seen this happen and the person who received the gracious gesture simply nods his or her head and goes back to talking on a cell phone rather than saying the words “thank you.”
Write Thank you notes: Find a place in your home to turn a table into a gratitude desk. Fill a basket with stationary, note cards, birthday cards and stamps. An email simply does not have the same effect as does a handwritten note. A handwritten note says, “I care enough about you to take the time to write.”
Keep in mind that your thoughts can change your attitude, your day. There is an old Biblical saying, “As your thoughts go, so shall your blessings be.”
During these pandemic times, gratitude is a challenge. But we can consider it a gift even if we are confined to our homes. Consider it the gift of time.
Copyright 2022 Rita Watson
[Adapted from my “4 Steps to Gratitude in Happy Times or Sad Ones” PsychologyToday.com]