A bit of paper and a few words of gratitude, Providence Journal

Thanksgiving may be a time for gratitude, but it is also a time of holiday stress. Single women often fret about inviting their special someone to family day. Married couples exhaust themselves preparing the meal or avoiding another year with in-laws. Children will fidget at the table. And many of us will spend Thanksgiving at a nursing home with an elderly parent. There we can share festive ground turkey over white bread topped with caramel lump gravy. And yes, we will give thanks.
Ironically, it was a nursing home moment that inspired a Thanksgiving thought for lovers, for couples, for families.
This week the recreation director brought in scooped out pumpkins to fill with flowers. I had hoped that our mother might recreate moments that gave her pleasure — snipping flowers from her own garden, bringing them to the patio, and arranging them artfully. At first she said she was too tired to participate, but with a bit of coaxing, Mother was soon happily involved.
Even the resident grumblers of aches and pains were transformed as they began using positive words to describe the blossoms.
The flower arranging became a happiness moment for our mother. At 93, she struts with her walker and even wiggles after having her hair done. But unlike Thanksgivings of our past, she will not be bringing out her pilgrim dolls, nor carrying a 25-pound turkey to the table.
If you are gathering for Thanksgiving dinner, consider getting into the spirit with a basket filled with gratitude instead of flowers. Hand out index cards and pens. Ask each person to write one thing for which they are grateful. When the basket is filled, go around again and still again until you have generated two or three grateful thoughts from everyone.
As each person writes, watch eyes light up. At the end of the meal, pass the basket around so each person can take a card and read it aloud until all the gratitude has been shared.
If you are alone for the holiday, do this for yourself. For husbands or lovers or boyfriends, write a note —instead of an e-mail or text — that says, “On this Thanksgiving Day, I am grateful for you.” Even send a note to the guy who said he would rather watch a football game than meet your family. By expressing gratitude, we create our own Thanksgiving joy.
Rita Watson, an incurable romantic, is one of our relationship columnists and a regular Journal contributor. Her web address is ritawatson.com .