Newspaper link: Love can flourish, even as we near later years on Page H2 of Sunday, March 24, 2013 issue of The Providence Journal
RELATIONSHIPS
Love can flourish, even as we near later years
Rita Watson
At any age, love makes the world go round. I was watching a couple last week who reminded me of a folk art painting. She had white hair parted in the center and tied back in a bun. He was tall and rugged. The mood music was soft and calming. Suddenly without even smiling, he took her hand in his. She closed her eyes as the two of them fell into the musical bliss of golden year contentment.
Love and marriage eludes many today. With people living longer lives, it will not be unusual for women to go through several husbands. According to the Pew Research Center, the percentage of Americans over age 50 on social networking sites nearly doubled from 2009 to 2010. For those who find love, here are some happiness secrets.
Dr. Susan Biali, M.D., is the author of “Live a Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You.” www.livealifeyoulovebook.com. She offers these tips for couples in her Psychology Today blog, Prescriptions for Life.
* If you think something good about your honey, say it out loud.
* Recognize and comment on things you have been taking for granted.
* Give credit for “goodwill,” no matter what they say or do.
* Say thank you.
* Before making a negative comment, ask yourself if it’s necessary.
Words can generate love, strengthen love, and in my mother’s case, by talking about our father in the present tense, she keeps love alive. She escaped twice from a nursing home this month to buy some groceries to cook his dinner. That’s when I reminded her of the priest who administered last rites 16 months ago, saying, “You have me to thank for that. He might not have made it to heaven otherwise.”
She gets silly and says, “He could be a bad boy. But I loved him. And he was good to us.” As Frank Sinatra’s sound consultant, my father, Vince Esposito, had one too many travels with the Rat Pack.
While our mother looked wistfully at the couple across the room, the food arrived and the romance ended. He quickly became obsessed with cutting his pizza into tiny slices. His lady love didn’t seem to notice because she was looking at her daughter, who had just arrived but stopped by to chat briefly.
“It must be difficult for you to have two of them here at this nursing home,” I said.
“What do you mean two?”
I nodded toward the man next to her mother.
“Never saw him before in my life. He must be new.”
I smiled. Her daughter would discover her mother’s secret in due time. Even a brain tangled by the memory thief has the good sense not to meddle with the soothing feeling of love.
Copyright 2013 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved
Rita Watson, an incurable romantic, is one of our relationship columnists and a regular Journal contributor. Her web address is ritawatson.com .