Husband Snatchers aka the Male Poachers
Posted on November 14, 2008
Filed Under Cheating, Forgiveness, Infidelity | Leave a Comment
We talk a lot about men who cheat on their wives. Here are some shocking statistics about women who go after another woman’s husband. And in marriage, this is often a deal breaker.
In a piece by Jessie Knadler for Women’s Health in the November issue, we learn that 62 percent of women interviewed say they would rather be the mistress than the spurned wife. She also tells us why there is no longer a Scarlet Letter which brands women who cheat and why “Angelina Jolie, [is] now seen by many as a saint, not as a home wrecker, and France’s first lady, Carla Bruni, hailed as the new Jackie Onassis. Such labels would have been unthinkable a generation ago. ”
Knadler points out that “some experts believe our views of marriage are changing. . . And a number of studies have shown that about half of all married men and women have cheated.”
Here is the bad news for mistresses who have expectations – “a survey of 4,126 male business executives found that only 3 percent married their mistress.” Women’s Health
Why people cheat: The book that is becoming the “go to” source for understanding infidelity is called: When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships by Mira Kirshenbaum. In her work, When Good People Have Affairs, she identifies 17 different types of affairs. This book is being called a lifeline for two people caught between two loves.
On the other hand, Rhoda Fine, PhD, a clinical sexologist and diplomate of The American Academy of Clinical Sexologists says, “There are a variety of reasons why people cheat, and it’s not always about the sex. People cheat because they’re selfish, immature or narcissistic. Or they’re excitement junkies and attracted to the drama. They put their needs ahead of others and rarely blame themselves why they cheated in the first place.” To find out more go to my earlier piece called Why Men Cheat
Forgiveness: Cheating may not necessarily be the end of a relationship — it may be the wake up call. The research shows that a partner who cheats often needs companionship more than sex.
At the risk of sounding like a preacher, I am back to the conversation between Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers: In Joseph Campbell’s The Power of Myth he talked about the essence of marriage with journalist Bill Moyers some years ago. He called ”loyalty” the essence of marriage — “not cheating, not defecting — through whatever trials or suffering, you remain true.”
Bill Moyers said: “In marriage, every day you love, and every day you forgive. It is an ongoing sacrament — love and forgiveness.” Mending a Marriage after Infidelity Takes Forgiveness
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson
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