- • Rita Watson: Making a trail for gratitude
- Rita Watson / Posted Aug. 23, 2015 at 12:01 AM
In this world of fluid friendships, the term “ghosting” has come into our vocabulary. It defines people in our lives who basically fade from us until they are gone — with no explanation. During our grandparents’ era, relatives clustered in large multi-generational communities, working, playing, gossiping and worshiping together.
Today our social connections are defined through Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter. People come and go with few expectations of consistency. Online friends may be making it easier to dispense with actual relationships.There are two kinds of ghosters: friendship and romantic.
One evening I was jolted into becoming a bit more sensitive about friendships and connections after a young lady approached me at neighborhood event. She said, “I’ve been watching you. I want to be you some day. I want your confidence.”She gave me her card. I placed it in my beautiful woven box of “contacts limbo,” wondering how I would ever have time for new friends since I barely had time to catch up with old friends.I felt like Jerry Seinfeld who once told someone: “I actually only have three friends; I really can’t have any more!”
Not wishing to become a friendship ghoster, the next day I sent emails to those whom I had crowded into my card box. As for romantic ghosters, these are oftentimes men who simply let a relationship slide. Although once thought to be cowards, they can now hide behind the ghosters label, which is still no excuse for their bad manners.That said, I do know of women who confess to ghosting men who fail to get the “I’m not that into you” hint.
Why do people become ghosters? There are many explanations. And who is to really know the difference between sincere words and words with a hidden agenda? I think it is quite easy — simply look into someone’s eyes. If that person you are with does not look you straight in the eye, move on.
We will perhaps all become affected by ghosters in this fast-paced social media world. For all of us who have dealt with the disappointment of being ghosted or were disappointed in ourselves for ghosting — we should still take the risk of connecting. In making the effort to reach out perhaps we will find a new friendship to treasure or even a new love.