A kiss isn’t always just a kiss. When we first saw the kissing lesson on Boston Legal, we had no idea it would turn into friends with benefits!
While traditionally associated with two people who enjoy each other’s company but do not wish to make the commitment, in fact, some FWB relationships take a romantic turn. On Boston Legal, the couple ended up married with children.
Friends with Benefits Quiz The New York Times carried a story called, Friends with Benefits, and Stress, too based on research that appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior called “Negotiating a Friends with Benefits Relationship.”
Are you reluctant to enter a friends with benefits situation because you really want to save yourself for the right person? Good. You should. Or are you looking for excuses to avoid a committed relationship?
A quick quiz
Do you feel that you are one of those who are not good at relationships?
If you answered “Yes,” then this is a good excuse. You won’t even need to bother trying. Then if you disappoint, you can shrug your shoulders and say:
“See, I warned you. Did my part. Sorry if I broke your heart.”
If you are in a FWB situation ask yourself these questions:
- Am I doing this because commitment is too difficult?
- Is this my excuse to avoid commitment?
- Do I traditionally tell myself and others that I am not good at relationships – thereby absolving myself of the responsibility for trying?
- Have I been so hurt by others that I am really afraid to be hurt again?
- Do I really like this person and sometimes find myself caught up with feeling loved?
If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions and the friend with whom you are sharing the benefits is really a friend – than it is time for a friendship talk – truth with no consequences.
The Affair Kiss: And if you are lying for love and telling yourself that the married man or woman with whom you are involved is really the love of your life — then it is just another excuse to avoid commitment. If you need the passion of an illicit affair — then watch a movie. Here is the great beach scene From Here to Eternity embedded. And despite the number of times I say that I like to remain “Neutral but opinionated” — when it comes to infidelity — infidelity is adultry, is cheating, is infidelity. Married But Cheating
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson (adapted from an earlier posting)