The fairy tales promised “happily ever after.” But in today’s society, with its You Tube divorce, ever after is usually after the settlement.
Some day my prince will come: In Cinderella, she finds her dream when Prince Charming slips her foot into the glass slipper. Snow White is awakened by the kiss of her Prince — who, as the tale goes, was destined to find her.
Happily ever after: As a society our dream of happily ever after has been evolving into happily after the hefty divorce settlement or happily after each marriage. Up to now, despite the divorce rate people kept on marrying. Now there seems to be a plateau in the trend as living together becomes “the new marriage.”
Have we lost our vision of marriage as commitment, as a relationship in which two people vow to be together for better or worse? Are we evolving into a society of serial monogamists with occasional open arrangements — instead of love?
Loyalty as the essence of marriage: In Joseph Campbell’s The Power of Myth he talked about the essence of marriage with journalist Bill Moyers some years ago. He called “loyalty” the essence of marriage — “not cheating, not defecting — through whatever trials or suffering, you remain true.”
Bill Moyers said: “The Puritans call marriage the little church within the church. In marriage, every day you love, and every day you forgive. It is an ongoing sacrament — love and forgiveness.”
The relationship: Professor Campbell added: “The real life of a marriage or a true love affair is in the relationship…. Marriage is the symbolic recognition of our identity — two aspects of the same being.”
If one thinks about two aspects of the same being, it is a way of thinking about your positive qualities as well as your negative traits. If marriage is two aspects of the same being then the person who brings out the best in you and you in them, is the start of lifelong love and “happily ever after.”
Copyright 2008 Rita Watson